HOW COLD IS IT?
It’s so cold we’re keeping the refrigerator open to heat the house.
It’s so cold you can get a milkshake directly from the cow.
It’s so cold they’re putting down weather stripping on the WI/MN border.
It’s so cold we just had to chip our dog from a fire hydrant.
It’s so cold the last time Trump came here he burned himself in effigy.
It’s so cold students are wearing footies with their flip flops.
It’s so cold I saw a reindeer with jumper cables.
It’s so cold you need a splash guard to use the toilet.
It’s so cold I saw two bears holding up a Starbucks (and they had a game the next day).
It’s so cold squirrels are sleeping on the ice just to warm their nuts.